Change can be a very scary thing. To some people, change is the most scary thing of all. People in general I think are creatures of habit. We get used to something, a way of living, certain surroundings, and a change can throw their life completely off balance. It can really affect us.
I really have seen this very clearly in the last week or so. Our son is turning three in May, and we have decided that it is finally time to get him out of his crib and into a big boy bed. I also decided that I would move my office – which was in one of the upstairs bedrooms – downstairs into a smaller bedroom, and move him into the room that the office was in, which is bigger, and closer to the back of the house and not as central as his other room was. In other words, we could sit in the kitchen or living room after he went to bed and have less chance of disturbing his sleep.
So I got very excited about these renovations. We got the storage room in the basement cleaned out good and the bedroom where the office was going. I rearranged my storage closet into an awesome craft closet. I did a good spring clean on my office and shredded a bunch of stuff that needed shredding. Moved my four book shelves and hundreds of books downstairs, as well as my monstrous desk. The room was now empty and ready to turn into a fabulous little boys room. These were all amazing changes. Changes that really only affected me, and in a good way. Everything was organized, my office was now more accessible, and I really think it will be used more now that it isn’t just a room in the back of the house. None of these changes really affected my son, as he still had his old room, and I’m sure he could sense that there was something going on, but in no way thought it was going to have any affect on his life as he knew it.
We made some more changes. Painted the room that would be his, bought a bedspread, got an awesome bed from his Godparents, and really started to turn it into his room. As we went along, we made sure that we included him in all the changes, explaining to him that this was his new bed, and his new room, and that soon he would be sleeping in there. He seemed fine with the whole thing and actually quite excited about the new bed, but did he really understand what we were saying to him? Probably not.
We decided (more for my sake than anything) that we would start the transition on a Friday night. His furniture was moved over, but we hadn’t moved his fan over or put up the shelves or a few of the finishing touches. But it was pretty much put together. We had explained to him over and over again that this was his room now, and that he would be sleeping in there. He seemed great about it. Until it came time to sleep in there at night.
Lets just say that we had a few growing pains getting him settled in there. We were used to him going down to sleep between 9:00 and 9:30 and waking up between 7:00 and 8:00 the next morning. Of course you go through the whole thing thinking “this is going to be like this forever and will never get any better!’
*SOB*….and of course it gets better. It will be a week tomorrow and last night when I put him to bed it was just like putting him in his crib. I got my “goodnight Mommy…I love you Mommy.” like I always did, and he slept right through the night. Still likes his door left open, but that’s something we’ll work on later. His old room has now been taken apart and turned into a spare bedroom again until we save up the money to do the kitchen renovations that we want to do and we turn that room into a dining room.
I know that to my son, it seemed that his whole life was probably changing. He spends almost half his life sleeping, and we basically turned everything around on him. Poor kid. Luckily he loves his new room now and I think as he gets used to it, he’ll be telling me to shut the door again.
This is just one example of change. Sometimes making a willing change is the hardest thing we can do. Leaving a job we hate so we can go back to school to do something that we really love. Getting out of a dead end relationship because it’s easier to stay than to face the fear of change. Sometimes change is thrown at us and we have no control over it. Losing a job due to circumstances beyond our control, losing someone close to us because they decided to walk away from us. These changes can be frightening, and we can feel that nothing will ever be good again.
Then we find another job. Maybe a better paying one. Or you meet someone that treats you with the respect you deserve. All of a sudden, it’s like “Hey! This thing happening to me that I thought was the worst thing possible turned out to be the greatest gift life could have given me!” We look at change in a different way and realize that everything happens for a reason.
It’s all about how we approach change. Do we buck it every chance we get? Grumbling and groaning every time something new gets sent our way? Or do we embrace it, and try to figure out how we can make it work for us? Look for what opportunities we can draw from it, and how it can make us better people, with happier lives.
“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou
The pics below are of my new office, my sons new bedroom, and his old bedroom, converted into a spare bedroom for now. All wonderful changes!