What I'm about to say might make me sound like a horrible person. It may, but it's the truth, so here goes….
Sometimes, I just wanna be alone.
I have a wonderful life. I'm fortunate to have an amazing husband, a healthy, smart, active 4 year old son, phenomenal parents and extended family, and some of the worlds best friends. I have a job that isn't exactly my dream, but I enjoy it, I know it well, and it's close to home, which allows me to spend more time with my family. My bosses have been good to me, and in return, I try to give everything I can.
I know that my life could be a million times worse. Just take any of the things that I mentioned above and reverse it. So what the hell have I got to complain about? In reality, nothing.
Except one little thing…and here is where I become a horrible, selfish person.
Sometimes, I just wish that I had a few hours all to myself, where I can do what I want, and not be responsible for anything. To sit and read my book without having to yell at my kid to leave the dog alone. To not hear: “Mommy, I need _________.” To not have to jump up to let the dog out because she's barking at the door to go out or come in. To sit and read my book, or blog on my iPad without my husband choosing that exact moment to tell me what happened in his day or ask me a million questions about mine. Don't get me wrong, I know how incredibly lucky I am to have these things. To have a wonderful child, and a husband who wants to share his day with me and hear about mine. I get that. I really do.
I just want a few hours. In bed, by a pool, on a beach, in a park, wherever. I have an active social life. I get out. I spend time with my friends, I have a book club meeting once a month. But during these times I'm with people. The thing I'm craving is ALONE time. Just to be me, be with me, do me things. Then, after those few hours are over, I want life to go back to exactly the way it is now. I'm cool with that. I'm more than cool with that. I want my life to stay as it is, I just need a little bit of solitude every so often.
That's it. Not bad, all things considered, if that's my biggest complaint. I think, talking to other women, that I'm not the only one who has these feelings. I imagine that there are men out there that feel the same way as well. I'm pretty sure that some time alone with me will make me a better me, a better Mommy, a better wife, a better friend.
I'll test that theory and get back to you. 🙂