Calm Before the Storm

Content at one of my favourite places to be – the beach.

What an awesome vacation I have had.  Relaxing, calming, amazing.  I’m on Day 7 and I have spent 5 of them so far by a body of water – either the beach or a pool.  It’s not over yet, so there could definitely be more.  I’m actually counting on it.  To say I’ve got a tan is a bit of an understatement.

The best part has been the time that I’ve spent with my son.  We’ve always been two peas in a pod, but this week it seems like we’ve gotten even closer.  He starts school next week so as you’ve read before, it was very important to me to make this week amazing, and I think I have.

Sometimes I find that after a vacation, I feel like I need another vacation.  Usually I feel that way.  This time, not so much.  I’ve spent time cuddling, laying on the beach, reading, floating on a pool raft, stretched out on the sand staring at the water rolling in.  I feel relaxed, I feel content, and I feel like I’m ready for what lies ahead.

The storm is coming.  That storm is called: Nicholas Goes to School.  He says he is excited, he says he is looking forward to school, to the bus ride, and all that stuff.  But he doesn’t get it.  He doesn’t really grasp what is coming.  That he is going to be out there on his own.  No Mommy, Daddy or grandparents to cling to.  He is such a shy little boy.  We go anywhere and he meets new people and he literally clings to me until he warms up.  We were at the beach the other day with Joe’s parents and I literally moved ten feet over from where he thought I should be and I heard him yell “where’s my Mommy??” as he ran up to where his Nana was sitting.  Once he realized I had just moved over a bit, he came over and put his arms around me and said: “you’d never leave me, right Mommy?”

Talk about breaking my heart.  Because I have to tell him that of course I would never leave him.  Then I have to go and betray him as I make him get on the school bus by himself.  Make him spend the day at school without me.  I try to explain to him that of course I would never leave him alone without someone there to look after him.  That even when I’m not there, there will always be someone to turn to if he needs something.  That even when he goes to school and I’m not there, he will have the teacher, and all the other kids there with him.  He won’t be alone.

But come the first day of school, I know he isn’t going to understand this.  He’s going to be absolutely devastated.  I know that he’ll be fine.  I know that once he gets used to school and gets into the swing of things, that it is going to be amazing for him.  He’s going to make friends, he’s going to grow in so many ways – socially especially.  It makes me so excited to think about all the things that he is going to learn.  The world is laid out at his feet and it’s all there for him to possess.  He’s so lucky.  We just have to get over this little hump called the first day – week – month – of school.

But now, it’s Friday night.  I have three more full days left of my vacation.  Lots of time to soak up some more sun, and some more cuddles from my little guy.  I’m not going to dwell on that first day until I absolutely have to – on that day.  I’m not going to ruin the rest of my vacation worrying about the inevitable.  I’m going to make the absolute best of it.  For all of us.

Vacation – Day 4 – Update 1

I could set up a hut and live here.

Officially, I guess this is day two, if you don't count the weekend. But considering I was on vacation starting on Friday at 4:31, I count the weekend, so today is day four.

As most of you know, my four year old son is getting ready to start school next week. So it's very important to me to make this week awesome and spend lots of quality time with him because it is his last pre-school summer. He'll never be a not-gone-to-school-yet kid again after next week. He doesn't really realize it, but there are huge changes coming for all of us. So it's extra important that we have a great week.

So far, so good. Saturday we went up to Port Franks and spent the afternoon and evening with family at their cottage. Nicholas had an awesome time playing with his cousins, two of whom he's going to be attending school with. We spent the afternoon at the beach (pic above) and it was really really great.

Frolicking in his grandparents' pool

Sunday we went in to spend the afternoon with Joe's parents and go swimming in their pool. Another great day in the sun, in the water, with family. We've certainly gotten our share of vitamin D this summer, and we're loving it.

Yesterday I took a couple of hours for myself and met a friend for breakfast. We had a nice visit, lots of laughs (as usual) and I returned home feeling refreshed and content.

Today was the busiest so far. Nicholas had a dentist appointment, and sat in the chair like an angel while the hygienist cleaned and polished his teeth, and the dentist came in to have a look. No cavities for him, and we were so happy that he seems to enjoy the dentist almost as much as his parents do. Yeah, we're weird.

After his appointment we went into London and had some lunch, and then strolled around the mall for a bit before going to see a movie. We saw Ice Age: Continental Drift. It was cute, and funny. Nicholas fell asleep, but mostly because he had been up early and was pretty tired.

After the movie we did some shopping, including some school shopping for him. A very productive day all in all.

I've got some plans for the rest of the week, including a couple of beach days. I want to take advantage of the amazing weather we're having. I hate to say it, but winter will be here before we know it, and the beach days will be over for another year.

My big plan for reading for the week was to start an finish Steve Jobs' biography. It's been pretty busy, so I haven't had much time. I'm only about 50 pages in. I'm hoping I'll get some reading done on the beach this week.

I hope everyone is having a great week. I'll check in with some more tidbits later. I feel you all trembling with anticipation. 😉

 

Burn…Baby Burn!

Meh…

The picture above was from the fortune cookie I had yesterday at lunch.  It kind of struck me when I read it…how enthusiastic am I – about life?  Lately it seems – not very.

I mean, I’m happy and everything.  I am content with the way things are going.  What have I got to complain about?  Not too much!  I just sometimes really feel like my get up and go – got up and left.

So here it is – past mid August.  Here’s my mid-August resolution: find the excitement again!  Grab life by the ba….uh…horns, and don’t let go!

Part of it might be that I need a vacation.  I have my much anticipated first week of vacation the last week of August.  I’m starting to feel a bit burnt out I guess, and need some time away from the day to day.  Hopefully that helps.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday, and a wonderful weekend ahead.

Peace. 🙂

The Next 10 Things About Me

Earlier I posted an entry called 10 Things About Me.  In it, I indulged myself in my love of lists, and my sheer self-centeredness, by posting 10 random facts about me – cause everyone must be interested in that…right?  No?  Oh.

Well, I was looking over that list and I realized that there were a lot of random facts about myself that I missed!  Heaven forbid!  How will you all sleep at night not knowing what they are?

So for the mental health of my readers, and to indulge myself even more….without further ado…all breathe a collective sigh of relief….here they are – The Next 10 Things About Me.

11. I love tennis.  I don’t play it so hot, but I love watching it.  I didn’t know a thing about the game until I met Joe.  Wouldn’t cross the street to watch a game.  Then I got into watching it with him and once I understood the scoring, got to know who the players were and understood the game on a whole, I love it!  I’m so glad I gave it a chance.  I particularly enjoy the mens tennis.  Nothing against the women, I love watching them play too.  I just slightly prefer the mens.

12. I am obsessed with personal hygiene/beauty products.  Soaps, body washes, bubble bath, lotions, creams, facial cleansing products, make up, polishes, scrubs, sprays, gels…on and on and on.  Get me in a store like Bath and Body Works or Sephora, and you have to drag me out.  Ask my husband.  It’s an addiction, but I smell nice.

13.  I seriously love giraffes.  Seriously.  They have to be the cutest animals ever!  Have you ever seriously looked at one?  What amazingly cute faces they have!

14.  It is my dream to one day volunteer to teach adults to read.  Reading is such a huge part of my life, it boggles my mind to think of the adults out there in the world that are making their way through life without knowing how to read.  To be able to give someone that gift, even late in life, would be a true gift to me as well.

15. Speaking about books, I’m really weird about mine.  If you’ve ever borrowed a book from me – which doesn’t happen very often – you’ll know.  I usually provide a ziplock bag and bookmark for the borrower to use.  When people break the spines on books and fold over pages to keep their place, or place a book open face down on a table – it drives me crazy.  Look after your books people!  I’m also pretty particular in that when I have 4 or 5 books in a series, I like them to be the same – either all hardcover, or all paperback, the same cover version on each as well.  Odd, I know.  Just me.

16. I really hate gardening.  One of the first things I would do if I won the lottery tomorrow would be to hire a gardener.  I love flowers, but hate the work that goes along with it.  I’m hoping that as I get older I acquire a love for it….

Moving on…

17.  While we’re on about what I hate, I really hate carrots.  I really REALLY hate cilantro.  Both of these things I have tried to eat, over and over.  I see other people enjoy them, and I want to enjoy them too.  I buy carrots, have carrot sticks, baby carrots, dip, the whole bit, and I just can’t stand them.  They’re even worse cooked.  Ugh.

Then there’s cilantro.  Even the slightest bit in something makes it almost inedible for me.  I can’t handle it, I can’t swallow it.  Ironically enough, I love salsa.  I have no explanation for this.

18.  One thing that really pisses me off – the bottled water isle at the grocery store.  WE HAVE PERFECTLY CLEAN DRINKING WATER RIGHT OUT OF OUR TAPS.  Yes, I get a water bill, so I pay for it, all the more reason to drink it!  I use a Brita filter and reusable glass or stainless steel water bottles.  Sometimes I will buy water from a service, mostly as a back up in case of a water main break (we have had 2 in the past couple of years) but only with returnable bottles.  You go to the store and buy a case of water for $2.50, that came out of somebody else’s tap, somewhere else, just for the sake of convenience, and you think you’re getting a deal?  What about the waste??  Those disposable plastic bottles pollute the air to make, and even if you do recycle them, there are so many that don’t.  Want the full story? Take 8 minutes and watch the video The Story of Bottled Water below and see if you still feel the same about buying your case or two of water from the supermarket each week.

19.  I NEVER carry cash.  So if you’re planning on mugging me, don’t.  It won’t get you anything, except perhaps a fabulous handbag.

And number 20, in case you didn’t know…..

20.  I’m hot stuff.

I’m always hot.  I don’t handle heat well.  If it is kind of hot or humid in a room, my body seems to absorb all of it and pour it out my sweat glands like crazy.  If someone in the room is going to feel the heat, it’s going to be me.  I love being cool.  My favourite thing is to walk out of a really warm building or room outside on a day when it’s like 14 degrees Celsius, with a t-shirt and jeans on.  The relief I feel is unparalleled.

So that’s it.  That’s 10 more things about me.  You must know everything, right?  There can’t be more….or can there?

Stay tuned. 😉

Sometimes I Just Wanna Hang Out With Me

Just my own tootsies in the sand

What I'm about to say might make me sound like a horrible person. It may, but it's the truth, so here goes….

Sometimes, I just wanna be alone.

I have a wonderful life. I'm fortunate to have an amazing husband, a healthy, smart, active 4 year old son, phenomenal parents and extended family, and some of the worlds best friends. I have a job that isn't exactly my dream, but I enjoy it, I know it well, and it's close to home, which allows me to spend more time with my family. My bosses have been good to me, and in return, I try to give everything I can.

I know that my life could be a million times worse. Just take any of the things that I mentioned above and reverse it. So what the hell have I got to complain about? In reality, nothing.

Except one little thing…and here is where I become a horrible, selfish person.

Sometimes, I just wish that I had a few hours all to myself, where I can do what I want, and not be responsible for anything. To sit and read my book without having to yell at my kid to leave the dog alone. To not hear: “Mommy, I need _________.” To not have to jump up to let the dog out because she's barking at the door to go out or come in. To sit and read my book, or blog on my iPad without my husband choosing that exact moment to tell me what happened in his day or ask me a million questions about mine. Don't get me wrong, I know how incredibly lucky I am to have these things. To have a wonderful child, and a husband who wants to share his day with me and hear about mine. I get that. I really do.

I just want a few hours. In bed, by a pool, on a beach, in a park, wherever. I have an active social life. I get out. I spend time with my friends, I have a book club meeting once a month. But during these times I'm with people. The thing I'm craving is ALONE time. Just to be me, be with me, do me things. Then, after those few hours are over, I want life to go back to exactly the way it is now. I'm cool with that. I'm more than cool with that. I want my life to stay as it is, I just need a little bit of solitude every so often.

That's it. Not bad, all things considered, if that's my biggest complaint. I think, talking to other women, that I'm not the only one who has these feelings. I imagine that there are men out there that feel the same way as well. I'm pretty sure that some time alone with me will make me a better me, a better Mommy, a better wife, a better friend.

I'll test that theory and get back to you. 🙂

 

10 Things About Me

Some who read this know me well.  Others not at all.  I like lists.  There, by the time you’re done reading this, you’ll know 11 things about me, because one thing is I like lists.  I love watching those shows that they usually show around the end of the year counting down the 10 best and worst ________ of ________.  I like grocery lists, to do lists, guest lists, etc.  So I decided to make a list of 10 well known and little known facts about yours truly.  The point?  There isn’t one, except to indulge myself in yet another list.

So here it is.  Some will be blatantly obvious even from reading this blog.  Others will be deep, dark secrets that no one knows.  Intrigued?  Hopefully I don’t end up getting arrested after this. 😉

Here we go…

1. I have many important roles in my life, but the one that I take most seriously, the one that means the most to me, is that of being a mother.  I love my family, and I love my friends, but I consider the responsibility of being a parent the biggest thing that can happen to a person and I don’t take it for granted, or handle it lightly.  I love my son with a fierceness that I never thought possible before I met him, and that grows every day.  I know that I am responsible for helping to shape the person that he is and that is very important to me.

2. I love to cook and bake.  I love to watch people eat.  Nothing gives me more pleasure than to have people get up from my table stuffed and satisfied.  When I am feeding people, there is no such thing as preparing too much food.

3. I love musicals.  TV and stage.  I love music, all music.  Musicals though, I have a real soft spot for.  We used to go quite often to see musicals and plays in Toronto or other places.  We don’t really get to do that very often anymore and I really really miss it.

4. I am a HUGE procrastinator.  But more on that later…

5. I’m a bookworm.  I have loved reading all my life.  Since I was a child I could always be found with my nose in a book.  The same is true today.

6. I come across as confident, and I am confident in many of my abilities.   I also have a side of me that has very low self esteem, where I’m always waiting for someone to point out what I’ve done wrong.  To make fun of me or laugh at me behind my back.

7. I wish I had more time to myself.

8. I’m an accessory freak.  Handbags, sunglasses, jewelry, hats, iPhone cases, iPad cases, beach bags, tote bags, lunch bags, travel mugs and water bottles, you name it.  I love any and all accessories, and often the accessories that I have on will end up being more expensive than the rest of the outfit.

9. I’m a techie and gadget junkie.  Read more about that here.

10. I wish I had been a writer.  Or a make up artist.  Or a photographer.  Maybe a stage actor.  Overall, I wish I had a job that exercised my creative muscles more.  That made me draw from somewhere different every day.  I like what I do, but I always envisioned myself doing something else.  Broadway anyone? Well…I’d have to get a few voice lessons first I suppose.

So now you know a bit more about me.  Did this add to your existence?  Probably not.  But I had fun writing it.

Thanks for indulging me.